April 11, 2012  |   By

Title: “Boyfriend”

Artist: Justin Bieber

Last week’s place: NA

This week’s place: 2

Does it deserve this?

Do pigs fly? More directly, do pigs fly in particular sketches from The Kids In The Hall where there is a pig that flies specifically for the purpose of entertaining people standing in lines?

I shouldn’t have to argue this. I shouldn’t have to justify driving around the block twice to hear J-Biebs channel his inner Timberlake before I pull into the driveway, sadly resigning myself to the fact that he and I will probably not hold hands or be friends. I shouldn’t have to pretend I listen to “Boyfriend” ironically (I don’t – and I never will) and pretend to be shocked that it’s “actually good.”

Because guys, it is. And it’s not good, it’s actually great. You love this song. I love this song. We all love this song like it is Justin Timberlake’s prodigal son running into our arms saying, “Please forgive me for falling off the radar.” Because Justin’s back! Just not the original one. That first Justin is off making movies and being funny on television and getting married, and “I want to be your boyfriend” is not the name of his game. So give it up, Timber-lovers, it’s over. But you know who’s not over? Justin-freaking-Bieber.

The kid can sing a song. He can sing and he can play and he can do both of those things very well. What’s wrong with crooning? Not a damn thing. Just ask me how many times I listened to his and the Juno award-winning Michael Bublé Christmas albums in October and beyond.

There is nothing wrong with liking nice things. “Boyfriend” is nice. It’s good. It’s great. It’s tailor-made for the Billboard 100, and if you’ve got a problem with the future of pop music, you can just see yourself to the DVD store and purchase a copy of Never Say Never to learn all about what hard work looks like.

Does it deserve this? Let’s put it this way: the fact that you had to ask me just means that you haven’t listened to it enough.

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