Unreleased Concept Album Sequels

Remember during the latest Low Times podcast when Patrick Stickles tells Scharpling that he really likes Bat Out of Hell II: Back Into Hell by Meatloaf! Clearly we were all wondering what happened to that bat decades after the fact. Thank goodness Meatloaf gave us the closure we so desperately craved.  Seriously though, we’re all allowed to like some silliness (I have four Goo Goo Dolls tattoos. Don’t worry, 2 of them are temporary.) and good for Patrick for fessing up to his love of sweat rock. This audacious, bat-based record did get me thinking about other follow-ups to popular concept albums. Let’s take a look at a few missed opportunities.

Octophenia by The Who – Concept: It is ten years later in Brighton and Quadrophenia’s main mod, Jimmy, now has eight distinct personalities. His new “practical joker” personality is really pissing off the other seven. Whoopee cushions on the GS Scooter and giving the Ace Face the ol’ joy buzzer handshake get old real quick. John Entwistle’s refusal to make fart noises with his bass sounded the death knell for this proposed quadruple double album. Plus, imagine the lost licensing fees for each song’s eventual placement in episodes of the now defunct United States of Tara. Hundreds of dollars, gone.

Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Solo Projects by The Beatles – Ringo thought it would be a good idea to write songs from the perspective of Billy Shears and the other band members (Robin, Maurice and Barry Shears) as they go their separate ways. Upon completion of the recording and the inevitable realization that it was absolute rubbish, John punched Ringo in the face for the twenty-third time that year. The rest of the band congratulated John for his remarkable restraint. At one point, George compared Lennon’s patience and poise to that of a Buddhist monk. To be fair, George was so high that he was also known to compare his dining room table’s patience and poise to that of a Buddhist monk. It was a different time back then.

The Addition by Pink Floyd – This ill-conceived continuation of The Wall saga concentrated on the domestic side of the protagonist Pink after he knocked down his “wall” and decided to create some extra living space and make room for his foosball table. The members of Pink Floyd saw that it was a snoozer during the recording session and decided to turn their attention to another follow up, The Fun Side of the Moon (also unreleased). At one point, Roger Waters went through an all-consuming interior decorating phase and tried to goad the rest of the band into recording another follow-up titled The Accent Wall. Thankfully, that was shot down before the boys could even walk into the studio. Both record executives and friends of the band have secretly referred to the album’s abortion as “music’s kindest mercy killing.”

Paradise Fitness Club by Styx – The famed Paradise Theater finally closed its doors for good, but Dennis DeYoung and the boys still saw some life in the large space, converting it into a health club in hopes of capitalizing on the aerobics and fitness craze of the 80s. Those close to him say he was looking for any reason to wear those little tennis shorts with the stripes on the side. Record execs thought the first single “Too Much Time on My Treadmill” was a blatant rehash of past success and shuttered the project quickly. Unfortunately, Tommy Shaw had a hard time giving up the project and continued to wear his spandex workout clothes well into the nineties.

21st Century American Broadway by Green Day – This tentatively-titled record is currently in the works as the follow-up to rock operas American Idiot and 21st Century Breakdown. Billy Joe Armstrong is being tight-lipped about the theme of the record, but insiders close to the project say it’s a “post-apocalyptic setting where punk Mormon cats are the only survivors. They get around on roller skates while singing doo-wop infused rock ballads.” A prominent Broadway producer with ties to the record label recently told Variety, “I like the concept; I think we can stage this!” Screenwriter Terry Hayes, of Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome fame, has issued Armstrong a cease and desist letter based on the charge that a female protagonist, Scraps, mentioned throughout the album bares too close of a resemblance to the “Auntie Entity” character famously portrayed by Tina Turner in Thunderdome.

- Additional “reporting” by Maggie Serota.